Sorry it has taken me so long to post an update. We have been through alot in the last year. We have been matched a few times since my co worker cancelled on us. The surrogate that we got matched with after the coworker was a girl in California that was moving to Texas. We became good friends (or so I thought). She was going to charge us $14,000 plus medical expenses and she wanted to be off work 4 weeks before the baby was born and 6-8 weeks after. Which we would be paying for whatever short term disability didn't. We have no problem paying for someone to be off work as long as it is requested by doctor. I don't feel we should pay for you to have a mini vacation on us. I felt alittle off about her being off work for so long so I decided to make a most on SMO to ask other surrogates if this was common practice before discussing it with her. The reason I felt weird about the idea was because when she was pregnant with her first surro baby she was going to the gym, Disney Land, beach, etc and it was posted all over facebook. Most surrogates agreed that she was taking advantage of us. Well before I could discuss it with her she saw my post and she decided I didn't trust her. She got matched with another couple. They did one insemination and it didn't work. Well the IPs she had cancelled on her because the surrogate they had their first baby with became available. They are having a sibling project! So excited for them. She was going to charge this couple $10,000 and everything was included. In fact, they were paying $500 a month until everything was final and then she would get the rest.
On to our 3rd match. She lived in Houston. Houston is 4 hour drive from us. After talking with this potential surrogate I felt like she was not the match for us. She stated that her van was broken down and they had to walk everywhere, she never even thought about surrogacy until she was looking for a job (surrogacy is not a job), and she wasn't sure if her live in boyfriend was married or not (how do you not know). Also, she stated on many occasions that other IPs were offering her more money. She stated another couple offered her $35.000 for first time surrogate. I felt like once she got pregnant the joke would be on us because she would be asking for more money, for instance, (I'm going to get kicked out of my home with your baby if you don't pay the rent, or the electricity is going to be turned off if you don't pay the electricity). I felt like she would have us over a barrel at that point. So I decided to cancel things with her.
Okay the 4th match (I know it's getting ridiculous!!!) We was matched with a girl in Oklahoma. There were a couple of problems with this match. For one, she was always talking to other surrogates that were giving her advice. The advice became a problem. I'm sorry if you are matched with a couple it should be between you and the couple. No one else needs to be involved. The major thing that turned me off about her is that she lied to me about having medical insurance. Another IP saw her on the chat boards talking about how she didn't have medical insurance. She finally admitted that she did not but was planning to get some. At this point I could no longer trust her to carry our precious cargo and had to let her go.
Now the 5th match. This was a surrogate that lives in Tennessee. We didn't have any problems with her but she ended up getting an infection that attacked her uterus and she was no longer able to carry a pregnancy. So of course, match ended.
Now on to the most current hopeful match. We placed an ad on SMO and never received any response. Then a few days ago we were contacted by a lady that lives 15 minutes from us. We are going to meet with her and her husband next Saturday for dinner. We are very excited but nervous about the meeting! If all goes well we will be starting the process next month or January. Will keep you updated on what happens during the meeting and if she will be our final match. The one that we get to move forward in the process and finally carry our baby!
