Saturday, May 25, 2013
update on how things are going for us
I'm sorry it has taken so long to post on here. As far as the match that we were going to have dinner with, we got stood up, no phone calls or anything. We are still looking for a surrogate. I hope that one day we have the baby in our arms that we always wanted. We have been trying again for the last 5 months trying to conceive our own baby again and nothing has worked thus far. I'm kinda at a loss right now and don't know where to go from here. Nothing much to report at this point.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Our Surrogate Matches of the past year!!!
Sorry it has taken me so long to post an update. We have been through alot in the last year. We have been matched a few times since my co worker cancelled on us. The surrogate that we got matched with after the coworker was a girl in California that was moving to Texas. We became good friends (or so I thought). She was going to charge us $14,000 plus medical expenses and she wanted to be off work 4 weeks before the baby was born and 6-8 weeks after. Which we would be paying for whatever short term disability didn't. We have no problem paying for someone to be off work as long as it is requested by doctor. I don't feel we should pay for you to have a mini vacation on us. I felt alittle off about her being off work for so long so I decided to make a most on SMO to ask other surrogates if this was common practice before discussing it with her. The reason I felt weird about the idea was because when she was pregnant with her first surro baby she was going to the gym, Disney Land, beach, etc and it was posted all over facebook. Most surrogates agreed that she was taking advantage of us. Well before I could discuss it with her she saw my post and she decided I didn't trust her. She got matched with another couple. They did one insemination and it didn't work. Well the IPs she had cancelled on her because the surrogate they had their first baby with became available. They are having a sibling project! So excited for them. She was going to charge this couple $10,000 and everything was included. In fact, they were paying $500 a month until everything was final and then she would get the rest.
On to our 3rd match. She lived in Houston. Houston is 4 hour drive from us. After talking with this potential surrogate I felt like she was not the match for us. She stated that her van was broken down and they had to walk everywhere, she never even thought about surrogacy until she was looking for a job (surrogacy is not a job), and she wasn't sure if her live in boyfriend was married or not (how do you not know). Also, she stated on many occasions that other IPs were offering her more money. She stated another couple offered her $35.000 for first time surrogate. I felt like once she got pregnant the joke would be on us because she would be asking for more money, for instance, (I'm going to get kicked out of my home with your baby if you don't pay the rent, or the electricity is going to be turned off if you don't pay the electricity). I felt like she would have us over a barrel at that point. So I decided to cancel things with her.
Okay the 4th match (I know it's getting ridiculous!!!) We was matched with a girl in Oklahoma. There were a couple of problems with this match. For one, she was always talking to other surrogates that were giving her advice. The advice became a problem. I'm sorry if you are matched with a couple it should be between you and the couple. No one else needs to be involved. The major thing that turned me off about her is that she lied to me about having medical insurance. Another IP saw her on the chat boards talking about how she didn't have medical insurance. She finally admitted that she did not but was planning to get some. At this point I could no longer trust her to carry our precious cargo and had to let her go.
Now the 5th match. This was a surrogate that lives in Tennessee. We didn't have any problems with her but she ended up getting an infection that attacked her uterus and she was no longer able to carry a pregnancy. So of course, match ended.
Now on to the most current hopeful match. We placed an ad on SMO and never received any response. Then a few days ago we were contacted by a lady that lives 15 minutes from us. We are going to meet with her and her husband next Saturday for dinner. We are very excited but nervous about the meeting! If all goes well we will be starting the process next month or January. Will keep you updated on what happens during the meeting and if she will be our final match. The one that we get to move forward in the process and finally carry our baby!
On to our 3rd match. She lived in Houston. Houston is 4 hour drive from us. After talking with this potential surrogate I felt like she was not the match for us. She stated that her van was broken down and they had to walk everywhere, she never even thought about surrogacy until she was looking for a job (surrogacy is not a job), and she wasn't sure if her live in boyfriend was married or not (how do you not know). Also, she stated on many occasions that other IPs were offering her more money. She stated another couple offered her $35.000 for first time surrogate. I felt like once she got pregnant the joke would be on us because she would be asking for more money, for instance, (I'm going to get kicked out of my home with your baby if you don't pay the rent, or the electricity is going to be turned off if you don't pay the electricity). I felt like she would have us over a barrel at that point. So I decided to cancel things with her.
Okay the 4th match (I know it's getting ridiculous!!!) We was matched with a girl in Oklahoma. There were a couple of problems with this match. For one, she was always talking to other surrogates that were giving her advice. The advice became a problem. I'm sorry if you are matched with a couple it should be between you and the couple. No one else needs to be involved. The major thing that turned me off about her is that she lied to me about having medical insurance. Another IP saw her on the chat boards talking about how she didn't have medical insurance. She finally admitted that she did not but was planning to get some. At this point I could no longer trust her to carry our precious cargo and had to let her go.
Now the 5th match. This was a surrogate that lives in Tennessee. We didn't have any problems with her but she ended up getting an infection that attacked her uterus and she was no longer able to carry a pregnancy. So of course, match ended.
Now on to the most current hopeful match. We placed an ad on SMO and never received any response. Then a few days ago we were contacted by a lady that lives 15 minutes from us. We are going to meet with her and her husband next Saturday for dinner. We are very excited but nervous about the meeting! If all goes well we will be starting the process next month or January. Will keep you updated on what happens during the meeting and if she will be our final match. The one that we get to move forward in the process and finally carry our baby!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Still looking for a surrogate
Since our surrogate cancelled with us I am longing for a baby even more. I totally felt like I was on top of the world and then hit rock bottom when she cancelled with us. I am having the hardest time trying to find someone else. I look on the surrogate boards but a lot of the women are not local to us. I really would like to find someone that is at least driving distance for us. I want to be there for the pregnancy. If nothing more go to hear the heartbeat, see if it's a boy or a girl, and do at least four more visits throughout the pregnancy.
My best friend had brought this up years ago and I wasn't ready at that point to give up on my dream of carrying a baby. I asked her about it about a year ago and she said that I should have taken her up on it when she originally asked me. I think I'm going to ask her again. Maybe by chance she will. I don't know. I feel lost. I posted on facebook and didn't get any response.
Anyway, cookie fundraiser starts February 1st and runs through the 16th. Can't wait to see how this goes. I'm very excited about it. We have some of our friends and family helping sell cookies as well.
My best friend had brought this up years ago and I wasn't ready at that point to give up on my dream of carrying a baby. I asked her about it about a year ago and she said that I should have taken her up on it when she originally asked me. I think I'm going to ask her again. Maybe by chance she will. I don't know. I feel lost. I posted on facebook and didn't get any response.
Anyway, cookie fundraiser starts February 1st and runs through the 16th. Can't wait to see how this goes. I'm very excited about it. We have some of our friends and family helping sell cookies as well.
Surrogate backed out on us
I talked everyday almost with the surrogate. We discussed different issues that we thought about. She wasn't charging anything for the surrogacy, which was wonderful. Her insurance would cover her pregnancy. She did however make comments that were unsettling throughout this process. She stated that she would like to have her mom in the delivery room and not us. I was very upset about this. Waiting all this time to have a baby and not being there to see my child being born. Also, she stated that she would rather not come to the baby shower and for us to bring her a piece of cake back. She only lives 5 minutes away from me so it's not like she couldn't go if she wanted to. I let her know that I had contacted a lawyer and she acted very strange about that. She stated she just thought she could have a baby and we take it home with us. I advised her that the hospital is not going to just let us walk out with the baby. Her name would be on the birth certificate and they would think it's hers. Not to mention all the problems we would have trying to enroll our child in school with her name on the birth certificate. I also advised her that I am new to this process and the lawyer would know what steps to take to make this legal. She finally agreed.
Well on January 24th I woke up to a text message that changed my world. It stated that she was not going to be able to be our surrogate. She said that she is going back to school and doesn't want anything messing that up and also she is not ready emotionally for something this big. I stated that she was the one that offered this and that my husband and I are having a fundraiser to get the money together for this process, we have already told our friends and family about this and started preparing. She said she knows and she's sorry she just can't. Well that entire day I cried. Then my husband cousin called to tell him how to get me pregnant. The time of the month when a woman ovulates. This upset me even more because it's not that we don't know when or how to have sex to have a baby. It's just that it's not happening for us. I try to not let stupid things that people say when they don't understand infertility upset me but this was not the day for me.
Well on January 24th I woke up to a text message that changed my world. It stated that she was not going to be able to be our surrogate. She said that she is going back to school and doesn't want anything messing that up and also she is not ready emotionally for something this big. I stated that she was the one that offered this and that my husband and I are having a fundraiser to get the money together for this process, we have already told our friends and family about this and started preparing. She said she knows and she's sorry she just can't. Well that entire day I cried. Then my husband cousin called to tell him how to get me pregnant. The time of the month when a woman ovulates. This upset me even more because it's not that we don't know when or how to have sex to have a baby. It's just that it's not happening for us. I try to not let stupid things that people say when they don't understand infertility upset me but this was not the day for me.
Our surrogate
My husband and I went over to his mom's house New Years Day and a ex co worker of mine and friend was there at the house with her three month old baby. I held her baby and kept wishing that I could be a parent. She asked me if I had any kids. I told her no. She said "you don't want any." I said "It's not that I don't want any it's just that it hasn't happened for me." She then said that she remembered me talking about that when we worked together and she would be our surrogate. I was very shocked and happy at the same time. My husband and I had been talking about going to India for surrogacy and here was the opportunity with a local woman where we would be able to be a part of the pregnancy. I was over the moon! I made arrangements for us to meet up the next weekend to discuss all of our concerns.
We went over to her house and talked over everything. We discuss our concerns and she discussed hers. Now everyone was on board and ready for this to happen. We new that it wouldn't be until this December or January 2013 because of course we don't have that kind of money laying around but was ready for our journey to start.
We went over to her house and talked over everything. We discuss our concerns and she discussed hers. Now everyone was on board and ready for this to happen. We new that it wouldn't be until this December or January 2013 because of course we don't have that kind of money laying around but was ready for our journey to start.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Our second miscarriage
Again, in June 2011 took another pregnancy test and it was positive. Went to go see Dr. McDonald, the original doctor I had seen before (I love him)! I had another vaginal ultrasound. It showed no baby. We had to wait in the waiting room for a room to come available to talk to the doctor. It was horrible waiting because I was in there with all these people and crying. When we finally got a room I just sat on the table and cried. When the doctor came in he looked and me and looked at my husband. He came over to me and gave me a hug and told me that miscarriages sometimes happen. This is the first time I had heard this (MISCARRIAGE). I thought I just wasn't getting pregnant and these tests were playing games with me by giving me false positives. He had the nurse get me a book on miscarriage. The doctor stated that since I'm getting all of these positives (and it's very rare to get a false positive) that I am having miscarriages and this probably has something to do with my diabetes. He said for me to go see a diabetes specialist and they will come up with a game plan of getting me pregnant and run a bunch of tests on me as far as my hormone levels. Again, I left the office crying. Not because of the doctors bedside manner but because of the miscarriage of course.
First trip to Infertility Doctor
We went to the infertility doctor in April of 2010. They did an vaginal ultrasound on me to check to see if my ovaries looked good. It was very interesting seeing everything on the ultrasound and the doctor said everything looked great with my ovaries and from what they could tell didn't see any problems there. They ordered blood work for me and for me to do a test at the hospital and ordered my husband to have a semen analysis.
I was unable to make the appointment at the hospital to see if my tubes were blocked because the test was expensive even with my insurance.I went and did my blood work the next day and my husband did his analysis a few days later. We couldn't wait for the results and the doctor I had seen the first time was not available so went and saw the other doctor they have at the same practice (big mistake)! Well the doctor said that my husbands tests came back wonderful with 100 million. My husband was of course happy. He didn't have to worry about him having the problem. My blood tests came back that my blood sugar was way to high to carry a pregnancy. I've been diabetic since 2001. The doctor was not supportive and had a horrible bedside manner and gave me no hope so left the office crying.
I was unable to make the appointment at the hospital to see if my tubes were blocked because the test was expensive even with my insurance.I went and did my blood work the next day and my husband did his analysis a few days later. We couldn't wait for the results and the doctor I had seen the first time was not available so went and saw the other doctor they have at the same practice (big mistake)! Well the doctor said that my husbands tests came back wonderful with 100 million. My husband was of course happy. He didn't have to worry about him having the problem. My blood tests came back that my blood sugar was way to high to carry a pregnancy. I've been diabetic since 2001. The doctor was not supportive and had a horrible bedside manner and gave me no hope so left the office crying.
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